I made a mistake.
For a long time now I treated my boundaries as if they were compromises.
So I thought I was standing my ground when actually I realised…
A compromise is not the same as a limit or a boundary.
A compromise can be changed, it is variabel.
A boundary is permanent.
Let me give an example.
A while ago someone in my environment was pushing me to organise a housewarming.
(I talked about it with my bf and we’re not a fan of the idea… lots of chaos in the house etc, so we decided to keep things a bit more private and just invite people over for dinner for example).
Anyway that being said.
A part of me that still wanted to please, was willing to compromise.
I was like yeah sure okay… but if we have to do a housewarming I want to turn it into
a theme party etc…
Anyway thats not the point.
The point is, I had set my boundary, which said: NO housewarmings.
And yet again I was pushed and felt a but guilty and was already trying to compromise
to please someone else.
As soon as I saw that I called the whole thing off.
It looked cute, but they were testing my boundaries.
Here’s the problem though…
If I give in to this… what will the next thing be?
And the next thing after that?
So I said NO.
I don’t like it when others try to manipulate me into something that
doesn’t feel right for me.
There’s no need for that.
So I kindly declined.
So are you saying you’re against compromises?
They’re a beautiful thing.
You just internally need to decide what the difference is for yourself.
Decide what your boundaries are and where you are willing to compromise.
If someome says to you, can we have brunch at 10 and you say no
that’s not possible, can we have brunch at 11… that’s a compromise.
And that’s okay.
If you don’t really like that person and you don’t have a good feeling about them
and you say no to their brunch invitation, that’s a boundary.
Just sayin’, be aware of the difference.
It can change your life.